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Dec. 28th, 2008 05:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
11-07-2007
Corrine knows what people would say to this. This is irresponsible and reckless. Going alone is stupid. Not telling anyone is deceptive.
They wouldn't hear or listen that this is something Corrine wants, and needs, to solve alone. Maybe it won't solve anything, maybe that's why they'd protest, but Corrine's spent long enough letting people fight her battles for her, defend her, and take the brunt of situations for her.
She's dressed down, doing her best to look normal. Even if she hasn't much felt normal recently, she's making the effort.
No one escorts her to the room at the end of the hall.
Corrine knows what people would say to this. This is irresponsible and reckless. Going alone is stupid. Not telling anyone is deceptive.
They wouldn't hear or listen that this is something Corrine wants, and needs, to solve alone. Maybe it won't solve anything, maybe that's why they'd protest, but Corrine's spent long enough letting people fight her battles for her, defend her, and take the brunt of situations for her.
She's dressed down, doing her best to look normal. Even if she hasn't much felt normal recently, she's making the effort.
No one escorts her to the room at the end of the hall.
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Date: 2008-12-28 12:00 pm (UTC)Corrine pulls her hair back, getting it out of her eyes. She sniffs. "They're good at deceiving people. Don't feel guilty."
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Date: 2008-12-28 12:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-28 12:24 pm (UTC)Corrine's always hated that word. It riles up a fire inside her like nothing else, just short of being patronized. She can take being called stupid, and malicious, and evil, because who really cares what Amelia thinks anyway? No way in the world Corrine's a victim.
"I'm stupid and human and I've made a lot of mistakes. I feel sorry for myself. I'm not expecting it from anybody else."
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Date: 2008-12-28 12:24 pm (UTC)"Even beyond being some holy nuke in a human suit, you're a cape, Corrine. You run around punching people for some apparent greater good, creating and escalating personal vendettas all over the place, further complicating what is already a highly stressful work environment.
"On top of this, you protect only what you care about. Due to the fact that what that is changes as daily as your undies, how do I know when you're out there with my brother being a bunch of morons that you're actually going to watch his back? You can't fix everything, but you can immolate someone with a thought. Nice and fuzzy to say your loyalty is to your team, until my brother pisses you off again and you need another convenient person to take a shot for you or your man of the hour."
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Date: 2008-12-28 12:26 pm (UTC)She sighs. "Amelia, Caleb went with me during the first showdown with Neron to watch my back. I couldn't have stopped him anymore than anyone could stop you from being at his side if he needed you. I walked away after Neron was gone, to handle my own problems, because I was no help to him in that state. I did crappy things but I've always had his back. Straight down to Hell and through an army."
And if Amelia gets it at this point, great. If she doesn't-- whatever. That will be as it will be. "Nobody can guarantee you no harm will come to your brother or that we'll always be on top of our game. I'll do everything up to and including going down myself to keep my entire team safe, but things happen. Caleb made his choice. He joined the Outsiders because I asked him to, not to rub anything in his face. I did it because he needed people to support him or he was going to self destruct or do something reckless. The first time he went down to Hell was with Constantine as his only back-up. How long do you think that habit would've kept before he wound up dead? You're not the only one that loves and looks after him, Amelia."
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Date: 2008-12-28 12:28 pm (UTC)There's a very long silence before Amelia finally looks up at Corrine, and shrugs. "You've got an untrustworthy and contradictory reputation. It couldn't be that easy now even if I wanted it to be. And I don't."
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Date: 2008-12-28 12:28 pm (UTC)She stands. "You know... if you pursue this..." She chews on the inside of her lip and looks around the room. "That's my job; the Outsiders' job. It isn't about me, Amelia. Every single time, your brother will bring you back here, and every time you'll both feel the worst for it. You have a choice. You can let the rage consume you, and your life, and anything you could've possibly done with it... or you can stumble blindly towards inner peace and realize the road isn't always as smooth as we'd like it to be, like the rest of us.
"I hope you find peace."
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Date: 2008-12-28 12:30 pm (UTC)"One of us has to be the Bad One." Since her awakening, Amelia has come to definitively realize which one she is, and has always been; better her than Caleb. She whistles at the birds again. "[What the fuck does she know anyway?]"