"I have to! He's got to hear this!" Louis sits back on the couch, hands up as he sets the scene. "Picture this. We're here at Angela's house for Christmas, three years ago, I think. Angela, her husband Dave, the girls, me and my partner Jack, my sister Patrice and her now ex-husband, Michael. Resie finally gets here with Greg. Everything looks good right up until dinner. First, Greg offers to help Dave make something in the kitchen, and sets a kitchen towel on fire 'cause he leaves it right next to the range. Through gritted teeth, Angela practically chases him out of the kitchen."
His grin is getting wider and wider as he continues. "So we sit down to eat, and Dave asks Greg how him and Resie met, and he goes on this whole story about how they were both standing in the line at the bank, and-- no lie right here-- he says, 'I couldn't believe this hot little thing was talking to me'. And Angela is trying not to choke on her turkey, and Dave's not really sure what to say! Resie's got a hand over her face, blood red, and thank the heavens for Patrice never being able to shut the hell up, because SHE says, 'Yeah, I guess you would be happy to get a girl like my sister. No one else would put up with your dumb shit'!"
Louis has to stop from laughing, rubbing his face before he can speak again. "So, dinner's pretty quiet from then on, we don't want to give this asshat anymore chance to talk. After dinner we go into the living room, we're all sitting around chit-chatting, and at this point Greg is blitzed off on white wine. HE decides, at the height of inebriation, to bring the bags in from the car. He gets halfway up the driveway and falls over, hitting his head on the cement post and knocking himself out, cold! So-- so--" Still through laughter, "Dave and Resie run him to the ER where they sit for four hours before they're seen, they want to keep Greg overnight, and about four in the morning Dave decides to head home. Greg's conscious at this point, and still quite drunk, he tells Resie-- 'I better finally get something out of this for putting up with your family's bullshit', and Dave just LAYS HIM OUT. Takes Resie back here, and when Greg shows up the next morning ready to bitch Resie out, Angela has Michael and Dave toss him down the driveway!"
His face is red from hysterical laughter at this point, and he shakes his head, giving Corrine a sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry, sis, I know that was a horrible Christmas for you, but the utter audacity of that guy. Oh, what a loser!"
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2005-11-23 04:10 pm (UTC)His grin is getting wider and wider as he continues. "So we sit down to eat, and Dave asks Greg how him and Resie met, and he goes on this whole story about how they were both standing in the line at the bank, and-- no lie right here-- he says, 'I couldn't believe this hot little thing was talking to me'. And Angela is trying not to choke on her turkey, and Dave's not really sure what to say! Resie's got a hand over her face, blood red, and thank the heavens for Patrice never being able to shut the hell up, because SHE says, 'Yeah, I guess you would be happy to get a girl like my sister. No one else would put up with your dumb shit'!"
Louis has to stop from laughing, rubbing his face before he can speak again. "So, dinner's pretty quiet from then on, we don't want to give this asshat anymore chance to talk. After dinner we go into the living room, we're all sitting around chit-chatting, and at this point Greg is blitzed off on white wine. HE decides, at the height of inebriation, to bring the bags in from the car. He gets halfway up the driveway and falls over, hitting his head on the cement post and knocking himself out, cold! So-- so--" Still through laughter, "Dave and Resie run him to the ER where they sit for four hours before they're seen, they want to keep Greg overnight, and about four in the morning Dave decides to head home. Greg's conscious at this point, and still quite drunk, he tells Resie-- 'I better finally get something out of this for putting up with your family's bullshit', and Dave just LAYS HIM OUT. Takes Resie back here, and when Greg shows up the next morning ready to bitch Resie out, Angela has Michael and Dave toss him down the driveway!"
His face is red from hysterical laughter at this point, and he shakes his head, giving Corrine a sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry, sis, I know that was a horrible Christmas for you, but the utter audacity of that guy. Oh, what a loser!"