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It's been a while since I've even had time to do this. I can happily say recently it's the same-old same-old of real life dragging me down, but remarkably little whacky crap has gone on as of late.
I'm trying to learn to kick back and relax a little. It's almost been a year since all this first started and I'm just... standing back in awe. It all blurs together at this point and I'm not really sure what to think about any of it. I'm not sure I have feelings on it either way anymore. The shock that I never really felt going in is hitting me on the way out, like it finally dawned on me the gravity of everything in my life last year.
Sand's been an immeasurable amount of support. I'm constantly amazed at the patience displayed, and the sheer amount of kindness. And it's nice to have someone who understands my faith, who supports it and strengthens it when I need it. That by itself has been enough, but-- okay, babbling. Will stop babbling. Right.
There's always the meetings, too. Joy of my life. I think I'd give the meetings more gratitude than present if I didn't leave there hating myself more than when I went in. And I don't think it has anything to do with the doc, or any of the other members. Honestly, I can't tell them a lot about why I drink... drank.
I can't tell them crazy stories about demons or the Justice Society. I can't even tell them my boyfriend had a psychotic fit and tried to kill me, because then just to be fair I'd have to add that it wasn't entirely his fault. How the hell do you explain that? You can't, really.
I think maybe a few people recognize my face, from everything that got smeared on the news. It was more of a local thing, and stuff goes boom in Metropolis from time to time. My fifteen minutes of not-quite-fame generally went unnoticed, for which I'm thankful.
I'm still slowly sorting out legal troubles. I take it a step at a time, and take every moment possible to thank God I'm not rotting in jail right now. Or dead, yet. It's all really simple right now. No Caleb. No Trevor. No JSA, for the most part. No Angie or Louis or bottle. Just the kitties and Sand and massive renovations on the house. I work with my hands all day, I laze around at night with a guy I'm absolutely silly about and my two fuzzy ones. Simple is good right now.
I'm trying to learn to kick back and relax a little. It's almost been a year since all this first started and I'm just... standing back in awe. It all blurs together at this point and I'm not really sure what to think about any of it. I'm not sure I have feelings on it either way anymore. The shock that I never really felt going in is hitting me on the way out, like it finally dawned on me the gravity of everything in my life last year.
Sand's been an immeasurable amount of support. I'm constantly amazed at the patience displayed, and the sheer amount of kindness. And it's nice to have someone who understands my faith, who supports it and strengthens it when I need it. That by itself has been enough, but-- okay, babbling. Will stop babbling. Right.
There's always the meetings, too. Joy of my life. I think I'd give the meetings more gratitude than present if I didn't leave there hating myself more than when I went in. And I don't think it has anything to do with the doc, or any of the other members. Honestly, I can't tell them a lot about why I drink... drank.
I can't tell them crazy stories about demons or the Justice Society. I can't even tell them my boyfriend had a psychotic fit and tried to kill me, because then just to be fair I'd have to add that it wasn't entirely his fault. How the hell do you explain that? You can't, really.
I think maybe a few people recognize my face, from everything that got smeared on the news. It was more of a local thing, and stuff goes boom in Metropolis from time to time. My fifteen minutes of not-quite-fame generally went unnoticed, for which I'm thankful.
I'm still slowly sorting out legal troubles. I take it a step at a time, and take every moment possible to thank God I'm not rotting in jail right now. Or dead, yet. It's all really simple right now. No Caleb. No Trevor. No JSA, for the most part. No Angie or Louis or bottle. Just the kitties and Sand and massive renovations on the house. I work with my hands all day, I laze around at night with a guy I'm absolutely silly about and my two fuzzy ones. Simple is good right now.
