Jan. 15th, 2006

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Corrine's picked up the phone to call him four times in the past hour. She doesn't want to be alone. Kelly is already in bed, already asleep, so she's not really alone, but... damnit. This house is too big and there's too many bad things soaked into the walls and she can't get away from it.

She'd been doing so good, really, but she was too lonely and it was cold outside and there was nothing on TV and she was alone. She didn't want to be alone. She'd cried in bed and tried to sleep, and it'd been useless because she kept thinking of him and how much she wanted him there in bed next to her. Just so she could sleep. Just for a little while. Just until she adjusted to this. She was allowed 'adjustment' time, right? Not together anymore but still kind of together, just until... until... when? Tomorrow? Next week?

This was the right thing to do. It was good for them. She kept telling herself that.

It wasn't really that she needed Caleb specifically, but anyone here with her right now would be good. She was putting on her brave face as always but right now it felt like the ceiling of the world was coming down on her head. So she'd done what she always did, and she hated herself now.

This was it, though. Really. Just one last, as she empties the shot glass. She really needed sleep. If she could just sleep, she'd be okay. Just a little more to sleep. It was too late to go anywhere and she didn't want to leave Kelly alone so it wasn't even like she could run to the store and buy a little box of those sleep aid things. So just one more. One more, and then sleep. It'd be okay. It was just for sleep.

Corrine picks up the phone again, staring at the receiver through blurred vision. In her peripheral, the bottle is almost empty. She starts dialing, and stops halfway through. She puts the phone down and stares at it.

Just one more. For sleep.

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Corrine Bertrand

October 2009

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